You've been thinking about it for a while. Maybe you've read a few posts here, or saved my page and come back to it more than once. Something is telling you it might help to talk to someone. And yet you haven't reached out.

If that sounds familiar, you're not alone. Most people wait far longer than they need to before booking a first session, and very often the reason is simple: they don't really know what counselling involves. It feels like a closed door, and nobody likes walking through a door without knowing what's on the other side.

So let me open it a little.

Why so many people hesitate

When I talk to people who are considering counselling, the same worries come up again and again. What if I don't know what to say? What if my problems aren't serious enough? What if I cry? What if it feels awkward talking to a screen?

Expats often carry an extra layer of doubt. As I wrote in Why Expats Struggle to Ask for Help, the very independence that got you abroad can make it hard to admit you need support. You've handled so much on your own already. Surely you can handle this too.

Every one of those worries is normal. None of them is a reason to stay stuck.

It starts with a free 15 minute call

The first step is a short, free conversation. There's no commitment and no pressure. It's simply a chance for us to meet, for you to tell me a little about what's going on, and for both of us to get a sense of whether we're a good fit.

That last part matters. Research on counselling consistently shows that the relationship between client and counsellor is one of the strongest predictors of whether it helps. You should feel comfortable with the person you're talking to. If you don't, that's useful to know, and there's no obligation to continue.

Finding a focus together

If you decide to go ahead, in our first session we'll talk about what you'd like to get from our work together. It doesn't need to be neatly defined. Some people arrive knowing exactly what they want to change. Others arrive with a vague sense that something isn't right: a heaviness, a restlessness, a feeling of being disconnected from the life they've built.

Both are fine. Part of the work is putting words to what you're feeling. Over time, a focus usually emerges, whether that's adjusting to a new country, rebuilding after a separation, becoming more assertive, or finding your way back to a sense of who you are.

What a session actually feels like

We meet once a week for 50 minutes, over a secure video call. You'll need a quiet, private space and a stable internet connection. Many clients use a spare room, a parked car, or a moment when the house is empty. Wherever you feel you can speak freely.

There's no script and no homework you'll be graded on. You talk about whatever feels most present for you that week. Sometimes that's the thing we agreed to focus on. Sometimes it's something that happened on Tuesday that knocked you off balance.

My role is to listen closely, to reflect back what I hear, and to help you notice things you might not have seen on your own. I won't tell you what to do. I won't judge you. And yes, it's completely fine to cry.

What "person-centred" really means

My approach is person-centred, based on the work of the psychologist Carl Rogers. At its heart is a simple but powerful idea: that you are the expert on your own life, and that given the right conditions, people have a natural capacity to grow and find their own way forward.

Rogers described those conditions as three things the counsellor brings to the room:

In practice, this means you lead. I'm not following a checklist or steering you towards my ideas of what you should feel or decide. I'm walking alongside you while you work it out.

Does online counselling really work?

This is probably the question I'm asked most. The short answer is yes. Research over the last decade, accelerated by the pandemic, has found online counselling to be broadly as effective as meeting face to face for many of the difficulties people bring.

For expats, it often works better. You don't need to find a counsellor in your city who speaks your language, or explain your culture from scratch, or take half a day off to travel to an appointment. You can keep working with the same person even if you move country, which, as many of us know, happens more often than we plan.

It also means you can speak in the language that feels most natural. I work in English, Portuguese, French and Italian, and I've noticed that clients sometimes switch language when they reach something that matters. Feelings don't always translate.

Counselling isn't therapy, and that's the point

Counselling is different from long term psychotherapy. It isn't about diagnosing or treating a condition. It's a structured, focused space to explore what you're going through and find a way forward.

We typically work together for around 12 weekly sessions. That's long enough to go deep and build momentum, and short enough to keep a clear sense of purpose. Some people find that what they needed was right there in those weeks. Others realise they'd like longer term support, and if that's the case, I'll help you think about the right next step.

The practical side

I like to keep things clear and simple:

Is it right for you?

You don't need to be in crisis to deserve support. You don't need a label for what you're feeling. If you're carrying something that feels heavier than it should, if the life you've built abroad looks good from the outside but doesn't quite feel that way from the inside, that's reason enough.

I've lived abroad for over 30 years, across four countries. I know what it is to feel the unspoken loss of self that comes with starting over, and to be told how lucky you are when you feel anything but. I became a counsellor because I wish someone had been there for me.